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Post by aarkan on Feb 12, 2007 23:14:18 GMT -5
Hello kiddies, Mr Porter here with torment others 101. Todays lesson is: I'm sorry honey the Toothfairy is dead. What to do: Get some strawberry or cranberry preserves (Jam or jelly) the chunky kind, Wait till your kid has grown and loses their first tooth and get excited about the Toothfairy coming and do the whole tooth under the pillow thing. Once the child is sound asleep gently roll the kid over and dollop some preserves under them and roll them back over it. In the morning you must then convince the child they rolled over in their sleep and CRUSHED the toothfairy. Now smile and giggle with insane glee as the child feels the weight of their first murder
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Labyrinth
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Post by Labyrinth on Feb 13, 2007 0:29:12 GMT -5
Of course, the fact that it is Very hard to find jam that actually looks anything like blood doesn't have to play a part..
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Jocelyn
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Post by Jocelyn on Feb 13, 2007 5:47:28 GMT -5
Then make some fake blood, cha.. Or if you are REALLY twisted, use pigs blood. Will give a more realistic feel (and smell) to the whole thing, leaving with your child with not only the temptation to gouge their eyes but to find a way to destroy all sense of smell . Lovely idea.
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Jocelyn
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Post by Jocelyn on Feb 13, 2007 5:48:32 GMT -5
- that first with. Dear me I shouldn't type when i'm sick!
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Labyrinth
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Post by Labyrinth on Feb 14, 2007 3:04:05 GMT -5
Yes, pigs blood with just a bit of mince... oh and crushed butterfly wings.
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Post by aarkan on Feb 17, 2007 21:02:26 GMT -5
We are talking about a child here, It doesn't need to be very realistic, in a childs mind the very thought that they have destroyed the hopes of every other child in the world at ever being visited by the toothfairy is plenty enough to disturb them. Remember children are very open to suggestion and have no idea what crushed toothfairies look like do they ?
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Labyrinth
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Post by Labyrinth on Feb 19, 2007 1:00:03 GMT -5
Ah, but this is titled 'to the max' is it not? Personally, I never found the smell of any jam similar to that of blood or meat, even at a young age. Besides, if you squashed something that's a fairy, most children will pick up on the lack of wings, maybe even of skin and bones. You know, the best thing you could Actually do would to be finding a small humanoid animal, killing and shaving it then running a car over the corpse, attaching fairy wings and then put it under the pillow with whatever else, jam, fake (or real) blood, a bag of teeth even.
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Jocelyn
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Post by Jocelyn on Feb 19, 2007 21:00:08 GMT -5
..Yeah.. Or perhaps you are taking it too far? *makes mental note to call docs the second Laby has children*
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Labyrinth
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Post by Labyrinth on Feb 21, 2007 1:55:03 GMT -5
Me? Children? HAH! I have absolutely No intention on ever having children... disgusting little creatures that they are.
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Post by aarkan on Mar 6, 2007 10:06:34 GMT -5
Oh labby, how screwed up would a child be if the smell of jam brought back the tormented images of the dead toothfairy in their bed, add some fairy wings and who is to say toothfairies have bones ?
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Labyrinth
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Post by Labyrinth on Mar 7, 2007 1:54:41 GMT -5
None the less, it is still Jam. If they kid can put two and two together, they will realise that they were lied to.
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Post by Andre D'dary on Mar 7, 2007 9:38:38 GMT -5
It is rediculously easy to make realistic looking fake blood. All you need is some jelly, and make it with twice the ammount of water. Throw some geletin in there for thickness, add some red food dye for colour and blend the lot.
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Labyrinth
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Post by Labyrinth on Mar 8, 2007 0:15:11 GMT -5
It has been proven that smell is the sense most closely connected with memory... so if they child has smelled jam before, they would recognise it. I still like my real blood.
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Jocelyn
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Post by Jocelyn on Mar 8, 2007 0:46:30 GMT -5
I still think you're all mad...
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Labyrinth
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Post by Labyrinth on Mar 9, 2007 2:43:46 GMT -5
Hehe.. Proudly 5 km over the sanity horizon and Still accellerating.
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