The Cupids That Never Made It

[Labyrinth]

I have an issue, one of many, with Valentine’s day. Seriously, what is the attraction in giving someone cheap chocolate or other such things in an effort to retain them for a few more months until that elevated state known as 'home-base' can be achieved? It's meaningless. If you're in it for sex, go hire a whore. As for the romantics out there, moping about with ideas like 'I'm in Love so I will somehow convince the other person of this by wasting money on soppy gifts' please, spare us the agony and burn in your own flames of desire. Valentines day should be a time for sincerity, not soppiness.

Now that I am done, it is time for the Title piece. I think cupids are strangely cute. After all, who doesn't want small children running around naked with weapons armed and ready to fire at unsuspecting people? Of course, the most common is one with a bow and arrows. Let's update...

Iraq War Cupid
New! Comes complete with mini-uzi and commando-painted skin. Detachable body parts and blood sachets extra. Don't worry, that isn't a microphone or spy camera inside your newly purchased cupid, the organs just look like that.

Halloween Cupid
New! Scars, studs, screams and scary faces, who doesn't Love Halloween? Now every night can get a scream out of your beloved and you don't even have to put in effort. Pitchfork comes stock-standard.

Pimp Cupid
New! Yo ma homies, it's time to get on down with this years novelty dildo cupid. Changable batteries and detachable bling accessories included free of extra charge. This one has its very own pimp gun which, due to legal reasons, no-longer fires live ammunition.

Christmas Cupid
New! Dancer, Prancer, Donner and Blitzen all ended up in one slavering pile out the back after this little fire rocket passed through. No more shall cupids carry mere arrows, this cupid has aerodynamic candy canes to fire at the lovebirds.

Teen Cupid
New! Having trouble with the kids, a little bit stressed out? This Valentine’s Day you can let it all go with a torture able Teen Cupid. Just out, the latest technology produces realistic screams along with a detachable jaw and teeth.

Parent Cupid
New! Too much housework? Too little time for music? Now you can take it out on Parent Cupid. Scolds at the touch of a button but stops when the collapsible head is punched in. Fingers bend backwards and blood sachets can be installed in the torso and head.


Next time, the new and improved suicide Barbie and all her friends as well as Pokemon with their heads removed.

[Avenging Neko]

TeeHeeHeeHee

I liketh!

What about Fourth of July Cupid?
Special limited edition for Americans only. Tired of laws prohibiting fireworks? Well your own personal Cupid will take care of that! Rather than arrows, this red white and blue cherub fires actual miniature fireowrks so you, too, can have your own show in your own backyard!
Warning; sparks may cause fires, keep away from flammable objects, hair, and your girl/boyfriend's crotch to prevent severe burn damage.

;D

[Labyrinth]

Yush very Nekkish. I like.

[Kaz]

xD A work of art. I love it, hun.

[Jocelyn]

OH dear me..
I would love a skeleton cupid that fires it's own ribs at people..
And instead of falling in love they DIE HORRIBLY..
No no save that for cyanide cupid ,
mmm poisin tipped arrows.

[Avenging Neko]

Cyanide Cupid
Better known as the Suicide Cupid. This horrific critter shoots at you with cyanide tipped arrows and uses its own ribs to aim at your throats if you manage to avoid getting shot. The murderous doll was chanted over by a few Satanists before it killed them and used their skulls as a new bed.
Warning; doll is known to be possessed by evil, keep away from small children, loved ones, and anyone you don't hate. Cupid Co. is not responsible for any deaths brought upon this doll's sale. Good luck, suckers.


>.>
<.<

[Labyrinth]

Hehe, I posted a few photocopies of that piece around my school today.. (ie. Valintine's day.) The reaction was HYSTERICAL!

[Avenging Neko]

Which piece? Did you copy all the Cupids? >.>;
<.<;

*snugs Labbeh*

[Labyrinth]

I put up copies of the whole thing, my origional post. xD

*Snuggggggles Nekkish*

[Avenging Neko]

Aww, shoulda included my cupis too >.> *pouts cutely and gropes Labbeh innocently*

[Labyrinth]

Yeah, but I wanted it to be the origional.. by the end of the day there was another page underneath the one outside the library with all the people's suggestions. Lmao.

*Pretends to be all offended, scoring a grope of Nekkish in the act.*